IS Illustrated life drawing for me?

/

I created a set of panels in my new sketchbook that capture something of my guided meditations last week. They might not make sense to anyone else, but they document the images that came to me. Some thoughts:

  1. After reviewing and reflecting on my last sketchbook, I followed my intention to do more illustrated life journaling —and I immediately hit familiar roadblocks. First, especially as I added ink to the graphite sketches, the self criticism began and did not stop. From color choices to “bad” drawings, I was absolutely sure this page was a mess.

    So sure that I went to bed last night feeling down. Before lights out, I scrolled through Pinterest looking for art I enjoy as opposed to this crap I’d currently made (I did get madly inspired as often happens—more on that later) I went to sleep deciding that illustrated journaling is not for me, after all.

    And of course I woke up this morning to see that maybe the page isn’t bad at all. The drawing is rough - it is in pencil - but that was intended. The blue/greys work and the dark blue ink isn’t so bad - and in fact I could have added more in a few other places (maybe I will).

    Like I said about all the other illustrated life drawings I’ve done—this is a huge pattern: hate it while making and then afterwards I’m surprised that it’s not total crap.

  2. A note about media and color. I glazed over graphite sketches with ecoline watercolor markers with the intention of keeping the graphite marks. This worked—but only because I chose the lightest shades. That dark blue covered the graphite, for instance, and I remembered how hard it is to work with ink which is mostly bright and vibrant (qualities I wasn’t looking for combined with graphite). Next time I would either add colored pencil with the graphite, or go to ink and watercolor and erase the pencil lines.

    I did keep to one color plus greys and I am reminded that a limited palette is really the way to go. I wanted to add black but decided to stay in the blue-grey range. But maybe adding some black wouldn’t be a bad idea. I could try that in the future.

  3. So what about this issue of illustrated journaling versus other kinds of art? What DO I want to create? I’m just not sure! I wonder if I should push through all this negative experience while making illustrated life pages - that if I practice enough I’ll get better and more confident - or I’m pushing myself to illustrate my life when it’s really not the kind of expression I want to do.

    I wonder if I’m influenced by all these great illustrated life and travel sketchbookers online to THINK that’s what I want…but it’s really not my thing. I’m attracted to line drawings. I LOVE lettered headlines and subheads and decorative elements on a page that as a composition is perfectly balanced and composed. Words and images that translate into blocks and shapes.

    BUT. When I really look at the kinds of art I want to make (on Pinterest, in museums, in the world…), the kinds of subject matter I yearn to express—it’s really not illustrated life journaling.

    I think. I’m going to do some deeper investigation this week on that topic.